I get so overwhelmed sometimes. With dad being in prision, being over weight, having to worry if my grandma is gonna leave this family for her stupid gf, and if my mom will be mad at me. I guess sometimes I just wanna crawl into a cave, and stay there until all the drama goes away. Honestly, I do try and be someone that i'm not. I have mixed emotions about every decsion i ever try to make. I wish I could pick apart my life, and only keep the good parts. I dont know sometimes. =/ Makes it feel like I was born at the wrong time, but i'm oh so grateful to be alive. Most of the time stuff really gets to me, like the fact my mom is the reason I can't see my real dad. "we did you a favor"-grandma. NO YOU DIDNT. You destroyed me. I spend 99.9% of the time making me wish I had him in my life. Tomorrow I wanna talk to my mom about going down to see grandma mary and pawpaw rudy. theyre not getting any younger. UGH. This sucks. :l I'm always stuck wondering what life would be like with them. ): Now, i'm depressed. I'm off for the night guys.
~Girl W/ Mixed Emotions. <3
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I am sorry that you are having a hard time. I had a bad childhood too. It's hard. Looking back, the early years, were not as bad as I thought they were. But the teen years were horrible. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThank you =] It gets better but then worse. So we'll see what happens.
ReplyDeletesometimes big is beautiful! who cares!! just have fun and be youself! from what i read, you're a really cool gal to hang out with! drop by Singapore for a visit and i'll show you around!
ReplyDeleteHi, i don't konw very well english, but i read this post and i want to say that i haven't a dad, and i live with my mum ...he never wanted to know me...and sometimes i wish to have a dad, but i'm happy for what God give me. So i don't konw if you understand something...try to be happy almost every moment :), when i'm sad i think to the people with a lots of problems, with more problems then me...and i then i hope again :)
ReplyDeletetake care